


Who we leave behind

by AuMieux



Category: Marvel's Avengers (Video Game)
Genre: A-Day, F/M, Marvel Avengers Video Game, Spoilers, and the calm after, the calm before the storm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:46:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,007
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26837686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AuMieux/pseuds/AuMieux
Summary: A-Day had started so well.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Original Character, Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 9





	1. A-day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Careful if you haven't finished the campaign on the new Avengers Video Game yet, Chapter 2 contains spoilers of the story!

“Hey.”

Her voice is a soft whisper that gently tears him from sleep. Her fingers caress his hair and he brings her body closer to him. Their shared warmth feels so right he sighs in contentment. He knows he’s probably crushing her from how tight he’s holding her but it’s moments like this when he doesn’t want to let go. He’s a pretty responsible person, he loves his job, and he loves getting up in the morning and saving lives. Today however, he feels like keeping her flush against him and staying there all day. 

The thing is he’ll never get used to this. Finding her in San Francisco at the same time he was staying there had been such a big coincidence. He would probably have to leave for New York again but developing the Avengers had assured him a few months on the West Coast (unless the planet was under imminent threat, again) and so far he was enjoying it a lot, in major part thanks to her. He had a place to go when he wanted to escape Tony’s ego, Thor’s anecdotes, Bruce’s rants and Nat’s… whatever Nat always did. She had given him a homey cocoon which he carefully kept apart from his world. The soft bed, the heavy blanket and the woman next to him were for him and him only until he had so much responsibility he couldn’t even spare a second for anything else.

“Come on Steve, you have a big day ahead of you.” Her hand travels to his cheek, scratches lightly his growing beard. “You should shave that too Cap, keep the dream alive.” She kisses his chin and her fingertips tread lightly on his neck, on his collarbones and down his shoulder to his elbow. He shivers so slightly she doesn’t notice. Her touch is so gentle and kind, it’s a nice change from the heavy and violent caresses villains try to inflict his body.

He presses his face to her hair, squeezing her hip. “If you keep this up I’ll never get up.” He knows he will eventually, but laying there under her care, he could do this all day. And there’s this growing feeling in his stomach. The more conscious he gains, the more a sense of dread fills him. He wants to let go even less than before.

This is comfortable, and Steve Rogers rarely chooses comfortable over duty. But today feels different. Today feels like the kind of day where you should stick to your nest, responsibilities be damned. And it’s so warm here, so cozy. There’s affection and intimacy. He likes intimacy. He can be vulnerable here, even if he’s always been a natural leader and motivational speech giver, here he can let go of everything that makes him _super_. Just a guy from Brooklyn. It’s a nice feeling, peaceful. Scratch that, he doesn’t like intimacy, he loves it.

“You’re leaving me no choice.” She giggles and snakes her arm against his bare chest, he’s curious so he lets her but they both know she’s physically weak compared to him. They also both know he’s not ticklish. She tries it anyway. Her hand hovers over his ribs, it’s a light touch, and it gives him goosebumps, this time she notices. Yeup, he’ll never get used to her. “Don’t make me pinch you.”

He laughs quietly and finally opens his eyes. They meet hers and a soft smile plays on both of their lips. “Good morning.” She looks exhausted, sleep is still very present on her face and she’s beautiful, of course she is. Seeing her features first thing in the morning is one of the great perks of San Francisco. And is she blushing? “What’s going on?”

She buries her face in his chest and shakes her head. “I’m sorry your eyes are so pretty I’ll never get over it.” She presses a kiss on his pectoral and stays still for a moment, resting her face there. “I’ll be good in a few.” She shakes her head slowly and exhales before looking back up to him resting her chin on his chest, cheeks a lovely shade of pink. “I’m good.”

She’s not, he can tell. “I get it, I am mesmerizing.” He agrees with a smirk.

Her face is unimpressed and there’s a quirked eyebrow “You spend too much time with Iron Man, it’ll ruin you.”

He lets out a hearty laugh and rolls them over so she’s under him. Her arms come on either side of his neck and she starts playing with his mess of a hair again. “I get flustered about you too.” And he so does. Steve Rogers knows his way around the battle field, he knows how to throw a mean punch, but her, he’s learning on the job how to breathe near such a wonderful creature.

“Yeah right.” She scoffs and he frowns at her disbelief. “Don’t worry about it.” She glances at the clock on her left. “What you should worry about is getting back to Head Quarters before people notice Captain America took a night off and wouldn’t have been operational had a catastrophe occurred.”

Steve doesn’t really tire of his job however he can’t help but sigh in annoyance at this. She’s right. Public image is very important, especially in this day and age of superheroes. What would people say if they knew he once chose her over everyone else? (Once is a bit of a stretch though, let’s try thirteen or fourteen to get a tiny bit closer to the real number)

But it’s still early, the sun isn’t even up yet, it’s pitch black out. “I didn’t hear the alarm.” He notices. The first thing he remembers is her voice and her feather-like touch.

“You forgot to put one, but I’m awesome so I did to be the one to wake you for once.” Her eyes are bubbly and she’s proud of herself, love fills his whole being. “I’m great I know.”

“You’re the one who seems to spend too much time with Tony.” He leans down to press his lips to hers properly for the first time today.

He doesn’t want to go. He’s not used to this feeling, but he so does not want to go. So he kisses her once, twice, and kisses her once again. Then it’s really time to go. She stays in bed, she doesn’t have to get up for another couple of hours and knowing she’ll still be laying there while his day starts doesn’t help him at all. Her skin is hot but he really, really, really has to go. A few sweet words are spoken in hushed tones, he caresses her cheek right before leaving when she’s on the verge of falling asleep again. Still she insists on looking into his beautiful blue eyes one more time and holding his hand until he gets up from the bed and leaves the room for good.

He feels all too warm when he enters the command deck of the Chimera. The dread is still present but the feeling of being intimately loved and cared about is now accompanying it, increasing its effect on his strong as steel morale. At least the memories of their moments together linger.

It’s really no surprise when Nat is the one to greet him before he can make it to his room. She noticed he’s wearing the same clothes as the day before but she doesn’t point it out, yet. 

“Well hello Cap.”

“Nat.” He means to go back to his room but she doesn’t move from her spot near the war table, eyes trained on him. “What is it?”

She smirks and makes her way to come walk by his side. “Sounds like someone had quite the night.”

It’s not exactly right, not exactly wrong either. She worked late and he got to her place around the same time she did. He fixed them diner and they watched a movie, she dozed off halfway through it, pressed against his chest. He finds that he smiles a bit at the memory, not so long ago she was so close he can still feel her there. “Quieter than you’d think.”

Nat doesn’t let off, even when they reach the door that has a red star on it. “I hope you invited her to the big event today, that’s the least you could do if she’s so exceptional that Steve Rogers snuck out of HQ unnoticed.”

Not that unnoticed apparently, and she is. And he did. “Couldn’t make it.” He says simply, if there’s one thing he’s learned from working with Natasha is that it’s useless acting dumb around her. And he’s not disappointed that she’s not coming to A-day, it’s not like he could have spent a moment with her today anyway. He could barely afford to spare a thought unrelated to work.

The Black Widow smiles and nods. He always thought high of the Russian spy and he knew she did too. There was a nice silent tacit agreement between them that this conversation would not get out. So she kept making small talk. “She’s afraid of your friends? We’re not that bad. Though I don’t blame her” she throws a glance over the railing before saying “if Thor brings up that sewer story from Asgard again I might try and choke him.” 

That earns her a chuckle from Steve who seems to finally relax a bit. Some of the tension lifts from his shoulders even though it’s so early. Today might go according to plan after all. He can count on his partners to help him with the duties this day will bring. Making the Avengers successful is a team effort after all. 

“Actually she had other plans and responsibilities but if you’re so dead set on meeting her I know for a fact she’d be thrilled to.”

He leaves her before she can add anything else and finds the comfort of his room, carefully asking JARVIS to lock the door. Comfort is a big word, it’s not as homey as her place, but it’s good enough for now. His shield rests on his bed where he left it the day before, the space is tidied, clean and honestly lacks decoration. It lacks personality, except for the picture of Peggy under the window and his nightstand that has a beautiful set of pens on it. His lips stretch at the thought, it feels like all he does is smile. He squares his shoulders and decides it’s time to start preparing for A-day. There is a lot to be done still for it to go smoothly.

He’ll see her soon enough, and Steve Rogers is renowned for his legendary ability to focus (and righteousness) so he gets down to business.

The day started great though if she was honest, she did spend five long minutes admiring his face before gathering the courage to wake him. Something was wrong, she felt it at the pit of her stomach the moment she opened her eyes. There was this unshakable fear that a tragedy would be unfolding today. Still she took a deep breath and woke him up gently. She was naturally anxious so her brain was probably acting up anyway.

Time went by slowly, like it was waiting for her to realize something was wrong. The day was dragging on though work wasn’t as boring as it seemed. She still had a lot to do it just felt like she was stuck in a dream, trying to move forward only to be frozen and struggling as if she was trying to run under water. It was unnerving. 

She didn't bother sending him a text to check if A-day was going okay, Steve Rogers on duty would never answer a text, provided he carried the thing he called a cellphone on him. She did turn the TV on more than once through the day to keep tabs on how it was going though. 

San Francisco was celebrating, everyone felt light-hearted and happy. So why was she so nervous and stressed? An invisible bubble pushed against her sternum, sometimes air would get knocked out of her, and at some point she just had to ignore her adrenaline levels spiking to get through the last hours of work. He said he’d come by tonight, he owed her Chinese food, she’d just have to be patient and trust that he’d handle whatever would be coming his way. It would be alright. Everything would be alright.

The day had started so well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this far,  
> the follow-up should come shortly!  
> I placed two small MCU easter eggs just for fun, did you notice?


	2. Five years later

San Francisco was gone. He’d been under for five years, and AIM had taken over. And San Francisco was gone. Millions of people, “sick”, dead or somewhat related to either. He still had trouble wrapping his head around it. He’d missed a lot, too much. It felt a lot like those seventy years except somehow the world was worst after only five. The biggest struggle was not taking the quinjet for a small detour in the dead zone around her apartment. He fought the urge to simply go see for himself because he knew what waited there were only ghosts and disappointment. It would be beyond repair, destroyed like the rest of the city. It would be no use. No, he stuck to the mission at hand, he had to, Captain America was needed, and the distraction was a welcome one. When his mind wandered to how fast things had escalated that day he’d start feeling dizzy and he couldn’t risk to be out of shape, more than he already was at least. There was no denying the feelings of anticipation and dread every time they’d take on an AIM facility where inhumans were held, each time he’d be filled with worry and relief when she wasn’t there. He’d see this mission through and he’d have to look for answers once it was over. 

The over part came a little too soon to his liking. He was glad Tarleton was defeated, AIM was going back on the road it was supposed to take and inhumans were in less danger than before. The Avengers name was cleared and they still had a lot on their plate, it was just less urgent than before. He pushed the moment away for as long as possible, until he couldn’t take it anymore. He asked JARVIS the list of all those who had died on A-Day. This felt like a déjà-vu, like the time he got out of the ice and Peggy had lived her whole life without him. Though he took comfort in knowing SHIELD’s co-founder had had a happy life, this check-up would inform him of whether or not she’d had time to live at all. Seventy years, five, it felt the same to him.

Only he never found her name. It wasn’t on the list. He asked JARVIS over and over to check and check and check again. Then he went to AIM’s files. There was none under her name. It was like she had disappeared, vanished into thin air. He had let himself hope that clearing the Avengers name would prompt her to come forward, to come out of wherever she’d been hiding while he was… away. She didn’t. 

Only once did his mind pulled the dark scenario card. Only once he’d allowed it. Maybe she hated him, he’d broken her trust and she was part of the population that hated them all. Provided she was still alive, AIM had been pretty thorough in erasing traces of their _failed experiments_. Or maybe she’d started over with someone else, somewhere else. It was really all he could wish for her, no matter how it hurt him. History really was bound to repeat itself, huh.

He just had to make sure she was okay. If she was still around, was she inhuman? Of all the scenarios involving her becoming enhanced he hoped against hope she’d had a peaceful life, a quiet one far, far from AIM. He asked JARVIS to help, to look her name up, discreetly. The world had been so turned upside down even Nat seemed to have forgotten about her. But Tony’s faithful AI found her in a matter of days. She was in Brooklyn.

She had to be insane, deciding to live under AIM’s nose when she developed powers. 

Let’s begin with how starting over hadn’t been easy. First there was this consuming fear that she’d be found out. AIM was everywhere and it got to the point she had to do the one thing Steve had told her worked best, hide in plain sight. It was kind of a basic move, one that got him out of many missions (those he vaguely told her about at least) and one that was featured in many, many movies, books, whatever. It was supposed to work and when the whole A-Day stuff went down she didn’t have many options. So she went right where AIM was. She couldn’t stay in San Francisco, the whole city was a dead zone, she’d been so lucky to make it out. She thought of the deserts of Arizona and the forests of Washington. There were some rumors about Utah but she was too heartbroken to even think about heroes. She settled on going back home to New York. Closer to AIM without working there would be hard to accomplish, this would have to do. Her mother was somewhere in Manhattan but she simply couldn’t stay away from Brooklyn. It didn’t make sense, for someone who didn’t want to think about him that was a pretty stupid decision. She went through with it anyway, landing a nice small apartment. She made it as homey as possible, she got plants, lots of pillows and blankets. A soft rug, wooden furniture and warm lightbulbs. It still felt too cold.

She had decided to switch jobs too and to stick with one more low-key with less contact with people, librarian. It was nice. She’d always liked books and found the atmosphere there peaceful. The silence was appeasing too. If it wasn’t for those ridiculous rumors about the Avengers, for AIM’s control over everyone, for this upcoming _cure_ , life here wouldn’t have been so bad. And if it wasn’t for Steve’s selfless sacrifice, maybe it would be worth it.

Every time he snuck his way back into her mind she’d shake it off, being inhuman where it was understood as being sick she had more important things to worry about. She never told a soul about this change in her. She kept it quiet, if no one knew, no one could tell AIM, and the only one she’d trust with that information would be Steve. 

Amongst those who had made it out of San Francisco not everyone had developed the so called disease. And thankfully, that day had been such a tragedy no one really dared bringing it up. Still, she made sure to be as boring and mundane as possible. 

Things started to change a bit when she got a call from her mother telling her some fellow volunteer had saved her from the insane storm happening on the day the cure was supposed to be revealed. That day the Avengers started coming back and she learned that the Donald Blake her mother had told her so much about was none other than Thor, the God of thunder, himself. She allowed herself some hope. Because you can’t fall in love with Captain America and believe that what he dedicates his life to is wrong. The Avengers had to be right, they had to be good, and they had to not be a threat. Because if they were, her world would never recover.

AIM relented a bit after the crashed event. She heard all around her the mixed feelings about the return of the superheroes. For her part, she was happy they were back, but none of the relief they brought could fill the gaping hole grief had made in her chest. She’d be okay eventually, but it had been five long years and the more time passed, the less likely it seemed she would be fine. She’d get lost in memories in the evening, dream about that last morning they had together. She’d fantasize about his reactions to her new abilities, how proud he would be of how far she’d made it, how helpful he would be. And she longed for the help. Those five years had taken a lot out of her, and now that the whole society and popular beliefs were so shook she had no clue what to do. 

Once she decided for the first time in years to watch the news. She had no idea why but AIM’s failures gave her faith that perhaps things were looking up. What she found when she turned the TV on were his face and his voice. The picture they used was one of A-Day, the recording however was much, much more recent. It was a call for hope. The pressure she’d been feeling since the disaster, the weight around her chest that had been constricting her lungs for years shattered. After years spent in apnea she took her first breath. 

One night she’s walking home, headphones on, soft music accompanying her every step until she reaches her building in Brooklyn. There’s a man sitting on the steps, head in his hands. He has a white plastic bag and it smells like Chinese food. He has broad shoulders and she allows herself to dream for a second. If this wasn’t the posture of a distressed man, she’d be able to convince herself it’s him. Only when she gets closer he lifts his head and she’s struck by the blue of his eyes.

The middle of the street is not the ideal place for a reunion so she nods for him to follow her in, unable to speak, he grabs the bag and silently walks behind her. There’s a lot she wants to say but there’s nothing she can actually say. She’s frozen, processing. All the way up the stairwell, until they reach her door. She closes it behind him and leads the way to the open kitchen while he takes in the new apartment. Not new after five years, but new to him. It reminds him of her place in San Francisco. It’s intimate.

She tells him to leave the food on the counter while she gets chopsticks out. Then she reaches for two glasses and stands near the sink to fill them with water. She feels his eyes on her and it’s the blanket she needs to fight the cold that has taken over her home.

After a few seconds he can’t take it anymore and comes next to her to grab the glasses from her shaking hands. He settles them next to the food and lightly turns her so he can look at her. Her eyes are watery, her shoulders slumped and her hair is much shorter than he last saw. A shade lighter too. She avoids his gaze, she doesn’t want to believe he’s here just for him to be ripped from her again. Slowly she brings a hand to her face and wipes the one tear that managed to escape when he gently grabs her wrist. Finally, she takes him in. 

Steve is exactly as she last saw him, he probably only looks slightly less rested. His eyes are the same, his hair is neatly cut as it always was. He’s just as tall as before, his shoulder still carry the world and his beard is growing back again. And the softness of his gaze, she’s missed it so much she starts crying.

“I’m sorry I just- I thought you were gone.”

She takes a step forward and wraps her arms around his waist while he mechanically hugs her back tightly. He smells the same, his warmth hasn’t changed and his hold feels as it used to. It’s the first time in so long she feels the ground beneath her feet is solid and stable. 

“Five years is a long time.” he says tightening his embrace. 

“Five years is a long time.” 

Finally she loosens her hold and backs a bit to look up to him. She takes a deep breath and smiles at his familiar features.

“I’ve missed you so much.” It comes out a whisper, it’s the first time she’s said it out loud. He brushes a few tears away and leans to rest his forehead against hers. It’s easier to breath now. They close their eyes, enjoying the peaceful moment until his voice breaks the silence.

“May I?” She rolls her eyes in fake annoyance, because really only Steve Rogers would ask a woman who waited for him for five years if he could kiss her. Understanding dawns on him and he presses his lips to hers.

It’s soft, tender and warm. It feels like it’s only been a few months for him yet relief washes over him, he can only imagine the twirl of emotions going through her, who’s been waiting five years. The kiss is familiar, kind and hopeful. They’re finally getting back on the right track.

He pulls away at once and takes a good look at her noticing something seems off, different. “Are you-“ he could ask hurt, angry, sad, _okay_ , but they both know he means to say inhuman.

She winces and looks away. She had almost forgotten about that. She takes a step back but he doesn’t let go, only gives her slightly more space. And finally she tells him. He’s surprised she’s made it this far and there’s a hint of pride on his face and the swell of his chest. “What do you want to know first?” she figures he has a lot of questions, at least as many as she does.

He looks around in thought, he wants to know if she’s been in contact with AIM, if anyone knows, if it hurt, if she’s okay, if it’s dangerous, what it is, if she can show him, if she ran into trouble because of it some point. The ideas and questions jostle inside his head. He goes for what he thinks is the least painful one. “What can you do?”

She never had talent for naming pets or anything, but she’s quite fond of the name she found for her ability. “I call it killer instinct.” She says proudly and he smiles, prompting her to go on. “It’s kind of like a sixth sense, whatever comes my way I know and can act on it. It’s kind of weird. It’s not your typical flashy inhuman ability like controlling ice or teleporting. But it’s nice to have one less thing to worry about.” To show it she grabs a knife from the drawer and motions to throw it upwards only for him to stop her. “Hey I’m invincible now, let me show you.”

He puts the knife back and shakes his head. “I believe you, I don’t need some kind of proof.” She shrugs and turns to the counter, opening the food. “Sorry I wasn’t there for you. Does anyone know?”

It was her turn to shake her head. “Not a single person, you’re the only one.”

Her words bring him a bit of comfort. He will ask about it, but it probably means she never got meddled with AIM forces and the relief that surges through him this time is incredible. They get the food and settle on the couch. He keeps asking a few questions. Why New York, what does she do, how’s life in general. Why Brooklyn.

“I guess I wasn’t ready to let you go.” Was her answer. And then she said “My turn. Where were you?” Her voice is curious and afraid, not accusatory in the least. She genuinely wants to know. She notices his torn expression and puts down her meal to shake her hands in front of her. “Ah sorry I need some kind of superhero clearance for that probably.”

“You have whatever clearance you want.” He replies in an instant. Though this surprises her, they start eating again and he decides there’s not many ways to say this. “This scientist from AIM kept me in a lab for some kind of regenerative formula. I was unconscious the whole time so what was five years for you was a bad night for me.”

“Oh.”

Silence follows and they settle in the routine they used to have so long ago. At some point he knows he’ll have to go back, but right now here with her, it’s the only thing he needs. 

“Thanks for the food by the way.” She says once they’ve cleaned everything up and she sits back on the sofa, a hot cup of tea between her fingers.

“Well I owed you Chinese didn’t I?” He looks at her for a moment, she looks back and they stay still. He’s deep in thought and at last he speaks. “Join us on the Chimera.” He looks so hopeful. It’s a nice proposal but she’s not sure it’s a good idea.

“I have a job.” He frowns, not seeing how that can’t be overcome. “I’m not an agent or a hero.” She adds, to make her point.

He looks like he understands but doesn’t want to. “You’re inhuman, you belong with us now.” She cocks an eyebrow, not convinced at all. “I don’t want to let you go again.” he mutters finally.

At that she smiles and rests a hand on his cheek. “You’re not, this has only shown how much you’re stuck with me. Whether you’re there and I’m here doesn’t change that. Just try not to disappear again, and if you can’t help it, a bit less than five years, please.”

He chuckles and she takes the opportunity to shift closer to him. It’s quiet yet again and they get lost in each other. She leans towards him and presses a light kiss on his lips. “Welcome home Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> Feedback is very welcome and I hope you liked what you read!  
> You have the best day today


End file.
